5 Things You Must Do in Your 20s Before You Get Married + Have Kids

A really cool 23 year old photographer took this pic of me. She had to help me get up on this ball, but I did it! Things are still possible in the lat 30s, but it’s not as easy. lol

A really cool 23 year old photographer took this pic of me. She had to help me get up on this ball, but I did it! Things are still possible in the lat 30s, but it’s not as easy. lol

5 things you must do in your 20s, before you get married and have kids! It’s not about saving for retirement. That’s for sure! Seriously, you have your 30s to worry about retirement. ENJOY all your freedom now, including the financial freedom to spend money on your self, your career, your hobbies, and your body.

Lately, I’ve been meeting so many younger girls that are about to get married through my boudoir business. I am married to an amazing and supportive husband and I have 2 crazy but fun and adorable kids. But I can’t help but to wonder why I didn’t just pay that $1000 to get laser hair removal when I didn’t really have to think about the financial survival of 3 other family members and generations to come. It seemed like a huge amount of money then, but I spend that much now on a trip or two to Target. I wouldn’t have to shave every day (ok, more like once a week….fine, month) for the amount I spend on diapers and so much unnecessary crap you end up buying at Target. It just doesn’t make any sense. Now with inflation and having to think college savings vs. laser hair removal, college savings win every time.

I can’t help but to wonder why I didn’t just pay that $1000 to get laser hair removal when I didn’t really have to think about the financial survival of 3 other family members

So here there are. 5 things you must do in your 20s, before getting married and having kids. TRUST ME, you will completely agree with me in 10 years.

* To those of you commenting… I am not saying you can’t do any of this in your 30s or when you are married with kids. I am just saying it’s far easier for you to do this when you don’t have kids!

Focus on Your Career (but with Caution)

Am I happy I focused on my career and got it pretty established before I had kids? (My day job is an attorney.) Absolutely! I am so happy that after maternity leave, I had a quiet office to come back to that gave me a stable income. Not only that, but your world turns upside down when you have babies, it’s great to have a base on how to function as an adult, and learn all the necessary skills to hold a job and make money while you don’t have that “distraction”.

That being said, I definitely wouldn’t wait to have kids until my career is established. You know why? Because like I said, your world seriously is a different place when you have babies, and you will also become a different person. Which means, there’s a huge possibility that the career you once thought was what you wanted, may completely change! It’s a huge transition all around, and I don’t want you to push off having kids because you aren’t CEO yet.

Spend Money on Yourself

Like I said. Laser hair removal. My biggest regret every time I am in the shower. lol I will still probably get it done eventually, but I can barely find time to make an appointment and actually go to an appointment! Wish I did it back when I had more time.

Besides that, seriously. Money comes and goes. Hair is here to stay. Your youthful beauty on the other hand, is not here to stay. Enjoy all the cute clothes only 20 somethings with no kids can wear, and yes - flaunt that body!

One thing I did do, and do not regret at all, is getting boudoir photos done. I think I spent like $500, and I thought it was sooooo expensive back then. But you know what? My husband still keeps those photos in his wallet and every time I see it, I’m like “you got lucky”. :) That’s basically less than $0.50 a day of him admiring my beauty. Worth it!

Go on That Soul Searching Trip

You may be afraid to travel on your own, or you may be all about it. Regardless, do it! It can even be to a yoga retreat close to where you live.

When you travel alone, you truly get to know you. You don’t ask anyone else “what do you want to do? What do you want to see?”. It was so weird for me to not do that. On my alone trip in Spain, I decided to take a random bus and see where it took me. It took me to the beach. It was amazing. I also realized how much I usually go along with everyone else and what they wanted to do.

I also wish I went on a yoga retreat or some other organized retreat where they make soul searching a mission. It’s just so hard for me to take off alone now, for myself, without making sure everyone will be ok when I am gone (I know they will be, but mom guilt is strong!).

These days, there are fun FB groups you can join so you can meet all the girls out there traveling! My favorite is Girls Love Travel. Join and get inspired! 

Stop Thinking You are Fat and You Have Wrinkles

Omg, you are not fat and you don’t have wrinkles. Although I guess according to my dermatologists, it’s not a bad idea to get Botox to prevent wrinkles.  But anyways, stop looking at yourself and think you don’t look amazing!

Now, I look at pictures of myself from 6 months ago and think I looked way better. When I look at pictures of myself in my 20s, I have NO CLUE why I even thought I was fat or ugly. You will do the same. So embrace what you look like now, and be confident about it! Don’t waste your time thinking you are nothing but the best you will ever look!

Watch All the Netflix, Read Books, Eat the Late Night Pizza, and SLEEP

Just enjoy it all. Enjoy it before kids are yelling at you because they want to watch Paw Patrol for the 50th time and not the “boring show” you are watching. Or you can’t read a book because someone is asking for a snack or milk every time your butt touches the couch. Or 10pm is your absolute late bedtime because you will be up at 5am with your kids.

After all this, you still probably won’t listen to me because I wouldn’t have. Even if you do end up taking for granted all my advice here, don’t forget to at least take boudoir pictures of yourself. OK? Just trust me on that one. That’s one thing you will not regret.

Emily JenksComment